The Unwritten-But-All-Powerful Code of Journal-Writing

Asked for by so many, obtained by so few, I present the (previously) Unwritten-But-All-Powerful Code of Journal-Writing. This is for everyone to follow while writing any type of journal, be it online, offline, or otherwise.

1. You cannot be happy when writing an entry.

2. You must write about angsty subjects.

3. You are allowed to write about other people's angst. NOTE: this is the only time you are allowed to be happy when writing an entry.

4. You may write about your love-life (which, for the most part, should be full of angst anyway, so it's all good).

5. You may write angsty poetry/songs.

6. You may complain about how people are stupid and will never, under any possible circumstances, understand you.

7. You cannot write about how happy you are; that's the opposite of angst.

8. You may complain about anything you feel sucks.

9. Well, we were going to say that you have to use proper punctuation and spelling, but apparently that's not a rule anymore, so we had to make a new one: Do not chew gum while writing an entry.

10. Do not, under any circumstances, write down this Unwritten-But-All-Powerful Code. Follow it like a true journal-writer, and you will be greatly rewarded by the Journal-Writing Code-Makers Society (JWCMS). We know what you write, even if you don't see us watching you. So there.


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August 5, 2003